Things that will just kill your ego... or at the very least make you feel good about yourself.

How's that for a title? I think I can get used to this whole blogger thing... I kinda feel bad for the people who are going by my website, and not finding anything. Then again the fact that I have told no one about this newer and "improved" blog may have something to do with it. Not having reinstalled Frontpage may have something to do with it as well.

Anyway, I've been in a real mood as of late (last 48 hours or so) I can't really decide what is causing it but I do know that it has stirred many thoughts feelings and what nots in me.

I think the thing that is pissing me off the most is still Emily 7 months later I'm still pissed that I chased this girl for FIVE YEARS finally get her and she bases our entire realationship upon whether or not I will pick and move for her. You know I thought we had a real realtionship, hell I thought we were going to get married. Intead the bitch dumps me because I won't move and I don't talk to her like I used to. It pisses me off, still! I know I shouldn't let little shit like that make me mad or otherwise raise my blood pressure but this has really been building inside of me for a while now and I need to get it out and your the fucker reading this so fuck off.

What would I say to her right now if Emily called? The following "Hello, sorry to hear you didn't get into grad school. I got promoted, was employee of the month, built a new computer, made a ton of new friends in IRON, and have rediscovered who I am. Thank you for liberating me from you and letting me get on with my life."

IF I could go back and do something diffrently what would I do? I would go back to July 28, 2003. I wouldn't have gone to Emily's house I would have stayed home and waited for Dorothea. We had our problems but what we had was real. That is the other thing that pisses me off to this day is I never gave Dorothea a fair shake because I was still carrying a flame/torch/whatever for Emily. Honestly Dorothea deserved way better then I treated her. I really feel bad how I left things however that is in the past and I have to let these things go.

Hopefully this is a step to that goal. You know what really is the killer? I passed up several hot women in school because of Emily, now that I'm kicking myself over.

AAAHHHHHH

fucking bitch.

Ok is out of me?

it's like a leak that will not end. I'm sure there is more in there but it doesn't want to come out right now.

Now if only I hadn't had taken her to Disneyland I wouldn't be calling it the most evil place on the planet.